(Jessie Frank is a former AMA Dance & Music School student and instructor.)
Last week I shared my story of trying out for the Gamma Phi Acrobatic Circus as a sophomore at Illinois State University. I had missed out as a freshman, but I was determined to become a member of the Circus this year. If you missed the beginning of my story, you might want to read this post first. (And see a video of me on the German Wheel!)
We last left off…
Last week I left off at the tryouts. You might remember that I didn’t make Acro or Wheel. Hoop was my last shot for my sophomore year.
So what happened?
Jessie (bottom) and fellow acrobat on the Hoop!
Hoop: It was easier to tell myself that I wasn’t as good as the other members trying out than to admit that I should have worked harder sooner.
Looking back, I realized I should have been doing more. Instead of sitting around when I wasn’t in an act, I should have been bettering my skills or stretching or working on my strength more than was required. I should have gone to open gyms when I was free, instead of telling myself it wouldn’t help. There is ALWAYS more that you can do.
After Hoop tryouts, I learned I did not make it officially, but I was an “alternate.” This means that I pretty much am guaranteed NOT to perform, but I must attend all hoop practices, stretch and workout with the act, as well as learn the show routine.
We were told that even if we did not make a performance act, we were highly encouraged to stay on as a member of Backstage. I’m thinking to myself, “Thanks, but no thanks.” I learned that “Backstage” is treated like an act itself. If you are “backstage,” you are still a full member of the Gamma Phi Circus. You must attend all practices, do the required workout and become a member of a committee. You get placed into a family and are given a mentor. We were constantly told that the circus would not exist without backstage crew, but that isn’t how I saw it. I saw this as consolation prize — a consolation prize with a huge time commitment that I didn’t want to take part in unless I was actually performing. I didn’t get my way and I didn’t like it.
But, the bottom line is I liked the friends I was making. And I LOVED the atmosphere of the circus. And to walk away would mean I would not get to be part of it AGAIN. This time it was my choice. How dumb is that?
Prior to tryouts, I told myself I wasn’t going to stay on as a backstage member. I am actually embarrassed of that mindset. Staying as a backstage member has brought me into the Circus Family, and I am so glad that I stuck with it.
Life is all about perspective.
It’s so easy to be negative and blame everyone else for what you don’t get. And guess what that made me? Miserable! By staying in, I have met so many awesome people. It gives me another entire year to work on learning new skills and building up the strength I need to make an act next year, without the pressure of performing and acquiring skills right away. AND I will get to make friends who love what I love!
Being a Hoop alternate and on backstage crew was not the path I envisioned, but it still can be a great path if I choose it to be! I can officially say I am fulfilling my lifelong dream of being a member of Illinois State University’s Gamma Phi Circus. I have achieved my goal. I am proud and I am happy.
What I didn’t know is that happiness can come wrapped in a completely different package than I originally thought!
I leave you with a video of my Hoop audition. I will let you know how I do next year!
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